u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
