Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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