i don't like sucking hair
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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