the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize