im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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