yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
