i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
