Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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