don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
