I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize