Midget sex pt 2 tonight
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
