a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
