Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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