thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So many bounce houses so little time
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
