I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
