do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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