i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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