i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
