it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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