why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
