Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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