There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am available for nakedness
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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