my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize