I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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