i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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