no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
