She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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