I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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