one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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