Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There's always time for handjobs
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
