Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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