i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
