Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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