AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
