So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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