Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
