Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
