I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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