3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
