How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you didnt know i had herpes?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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