I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
