How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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