i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
