I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
