I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
