so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
