Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
