i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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