Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
