69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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