I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
