i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
