why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
