whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize