How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
