dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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