Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
