38 yer olds are good kisserssss
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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