Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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