turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i out mim tonsoeep
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
