I can text with my tongue
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
