Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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