I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
