My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
jump out the window naked night went bad
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize