the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
