Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize