just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
