Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize