A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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