you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
