the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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