I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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